Detriment
by veutix diasseux
Summary: Isolation is a poison. Sometimes people search desperately in the dark for something to cling to. At times like these humans are most vulnerable to the lingering past that creeps up behind them to drag back to a personal Hell. Sometimes they fight back, and in that moment is when they are released from their past, their God. (rating may change)
1. Chapter 1

Hello, first I would like to say this is my first Durarara! fanfic (but not my first first). I noticed there was a lack of Kidamine in the archive and that left me a little disappointed, hence why I wrote my own. I hope whoever reads this enjoys the first chapter and please let me know if there are mistakes, inaccuracies, etc. I would love to hear your comments/ constructive criticism on this so leave a review and tell me your thoughts. As an amateur writer, I would love to improve for my audience.

**Title: Detriment  
Rating: T (may change)  
Pairing: Masaomi x Mikado aka Kidamine/ MiKida  
Slight AU.**

**Summary: Isolation is a poison. Some times people search desperately in the dark for something to cling to. At times like these humans are most vulnerable to the lingering past that creeps up behind them to drag back to a personal Hell. Sometimes they fight back, and in that moment is when they are released from their past, their God.**

**Prologue: Desolation vs Isolation**

In Ikebukuro there are two things in which the city is known for: the color gangs who walk around in blues and reds, marking authority and the way which simply being on the city's landscape can weave together lives as intricate as the paths it stands on. Because these two things are so closely related, it wasn't rare at all how this young and naive boy came to walk both paths.

Two years had passed since his mother's death and his father's, a wound now closed and mended. He didn't blame either or himself. He didn't blame God or the world. It was just something that happened and he had no control over it.

It was how things were.

As he wore the light black uniform, snug and faded, a hand-me down garment from the city, the sun rose, pink and orange as it always did, releasing the warm rays of light upon Ikebukuro, he couldn't help but think: "Oho~All the wonderful girls are coming out of their houses ready and busty for school. I can just imagine how their eros grew in over the summer! So! Who shall I ask first? Wait, do I really have to choose? Why not make them all my girlfriends! That way I'll have a variety to pick: one for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, all the days of the week and they'll all wear skimpy maid outfits crying out master, master! Haa-What a life!"

These were the thoughts in which he smothered himself day and night. Unrealistic ones.

But…was that really a crime? The real crime, the cops would say, like one infamous one who would enter the task force in a few weeks were ones who made themselves to be authority. The real crime, a certain Russian sushi vendor would say was violence, because if you're happy enough, why go make others unhappy! Happiness should be shared. With sushi. It's cheap. The real crime…a perverted high school teacher would say, was that of which his _student_ tried to do, and not him of course. He was just trying to help her and she tried to slash him. The real crime…well, I think you get the picture. It's not one which we inflict on others but one we can inflict on ourselves and therefore out of denial, we make a hasty blame on someone else. Never ourselves.

Masaomi Kida, what was his crime? He was a normal middle-schooler, average height, average in his studies…so what was so unaverage about him that we chose to make assumption that he committed a crime?

The thing was Masaomi hasn't committed a crime.

But soon, the boy would go home, bathe himself in silence, something not even the bustling city or the rowdy streets of Sunshine could take away.

It was a silence of desolation: surrounded by people yet still alone.

Yes, he was lonely.

And because of that he would establish a gang called the Yellow Scarves and indulge himself in the deepest pits of Ikebukuro's heart, the thing which made everything rotate.

And it would change his life.

But he didn't know it yet.

And for now, he'd sleep a few more nights sustaining the empty feeling of loneliness within him, curling in his bed for an ache which would never heal.

That was Masaomi's Kida's new life.

**Chapter 1:**

Three bells rung to signal the end of the entrance ceremony. Students bowed and there was a sound of shuffling before a simultaneous sound of footsteps on their way to the boards which assigned them to their respective homerooms.

Masaomi looked this way and that, taking in the glorious curves previous middle school girls had put on over the summer. "I can just imagine them all trying to be my girlfriend!" He said to no one in particular, a phrase which they would all come to know as simply Kida's. His light blue uniform was a little loose on him and to fill it out, he wore his gray hoodie underneath.

Masses of students were huddled already taking some time to chat with middle school friends although it was rare sometimes that childhood friends stayed together after middle school. He stayed towards the back of the crowd gazing at the white boards marked with kanji trying to spot his name. From here, though, little could be made out. He'd just have to wait until this people thinned out a little.

During his train of thought, he almost missed the inaudible voice trying to get past him. "E-excuse me."

He looked over his shoulder only to see…a cute girl!

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't my intention to block your way but it seems the heavens have a different plan! To think that I'd bump into a cute girl such as yourself on the first day of school—it has to be fate!" He bowed, taking in the shocked expression of the girl. "Masaomi Kida!" Was his introduction and he expected the same out of her but she, behind her round glasses was taken quite aback. The only thing she managed to do was apologize again, bow hastily, before dashing off in the other direction. He thought he'd heard that she was in a hurry.

Kida sighed and moved some blond strands of hair out of his eyes, closing them and dramatically stating "And another bout of unrequited love." That is, he would have said more until he felt a strange gaze on him.

"Hm?" An eye cracked open.

There was another student who he was sure was staring at him but as soon as he returned the stare, he'd hastily looked at another direction, the name boards, and nervously began scanning them with blue eyes.

Kida kept his eyes on him, somewhat amused with his behavior.

To see if Masaomi was still staring his way, the other boy glanced from the corner of his eye and froze when noticing Kida hadn't looked away.

The aghast expression on the other was enough to send the blonde into a fit of laughter and red crept up the other boy's cheeks. He tired to look away, tug on his messenger bag, anything to disappear off Kida's radar, but that only made things worse for him. The blonde began walking his way!

Each time he blinked Kida was a step closer. Just as Kida was three floor tiles away, a loud apology escaped him. "Sorry! I didn't mean to stare!" His gaze was at the floor. He only stared at worn shoes. Heat became prominent in his cheeks as he was sure the entire student body heard him.

Another laugh and the boy snapped his head up embarrassed once again. He was about to say something else but was cut short.

"Don't worry about it. I usually have that effect on others." Kida smiled.

"Eh?" He was still bowed.

"If you keep bending like that people will think you're offering yourself~!" Masaomi teased.

"Eh?!" For the second time that morning blood rushed to his face and he stood up, back as straight as it could go.

Another laugh. "Masaomi Kida!" He extended his hand. This was the second introduction today. His smile was broad and while the boy was staring at his hand as if in a trance, he grabbed his limp hand from his side and shook it. "What's your name?"

"M-mm." The black haired boy scratched at his cheek, nervous. During his earlier school years, classmates had always poked fun at his ostentatious name, teasing him and even going as far as calling him an air conditioner. But this was a new year, right? Surely now as high school students they wouldn't say much about it. In the end, he gave in, purely out of politeness. "Mikado…Ryuugamine."

There was a moment of silence which made him uncomfortable. _Here comes the joke_, he thought.

Instead a huge grin greeted him. "Nice to meet you, Mi-ka-do~."

The hand which was shaking his was traded off to rest on his shoulder and he was spun around, "So…what class are you in?"

He didn't know what to think about the casual way in which Kida was treating him. After all, they just met. Did he want him to call him by his first name, too?

While pondering these thoughts, Mikado checked for his name again. He had already figured out which class he was in, 1-A, but now that he knew the other's name, he was actually looking for his. His face fell a little when he looked over the list for class 1-A and failed to find Kida's name amongst it. Just as he found this new information, Kida sighed, "Well, I guess I'm in class 1-B."

"Oh, really." Mikado conversed. "I'm in 1-A."

"Hmm, that will be a problem." Kida looked deep in thought stroking his chin. "It's settled. I'll be sure to visit you sometime."

"That sounds—wait. Can students really go from class to class like that?" Coming from the country, Mikado wasn't all well aware of how things worked in the city.

"Sure they can." Reassured Kida, patting his shoulder. "So long as you don't get caught." There was a mischievous smile plastered on his face as he said that. "I guess that's it, huh." Kida continued, looking around. The hall was almost empty. "See you then!" The weight from Mikado's shoulder was lifted, and Kida began walking away.

Realization struck. "Wait, Kida-kun! I don't want you getting in trouble because of me!" Mikado called after him, but Masaomi laughed it off.

"Don't worry! I can't help it if I want to keep seeing that adorable face!"

Mikado froze. Had he meant him? But…he was a boy. And if the display with the girl earlier was anything to go by, Kida _liked_ _girls_.

"Yeah, that's the one!" He heard Kida call back and then turn the corner.

"Eh?"

* * *

The students in his class had all introduced themselves as the teacher called their names. Thankfully, no one here in class had mentioned how exuberant his name was and all was well. The teacher, old and hunched with the weight of his glasses welcomed them and hoped for a good year.

Class was slow and Mikado fidgeted in his seat. This was his first time in a big city, a big school. It was very exhausting especially when the train station he had arrived at was full of the kind of people who would shove him without apologizing. Needless to say, he'd arrived at his new apartment, nothing luxurious, by way of 'Excuse me' and 'So sorry'.

When he'd opened the door, he couldn't say he wasn't surprised. After all, he was a high school student, a first year, living on his own and the bare, tiny square space he would call home for the next three years was proof. All he had as a means of dispelling the severe isolation he was feeling were his chat logs.

While he thought of this, he thought back to Masaomi Kida, the boy who boldly introduced himself. And the way he'd embarrassed himself, enough to cause mortification to anybody. He'd been caught staring. His fist clenched in response to the want of getting rid of such embarrassment. Throughout his middle school years, Mikado had been extremely careful to hide his preference for, and the last part always made him cringe, boys. He remembered how critical his eyes were (or had he just imagined that?). Did he suspect him of being attracted to him? He had teased him, even called him adorable…

Bringing him back to reality was the lunch bell.

Mikado had packed his own lunch using leftovers from his dinner last night. Plain as it was, it was enough to last him for the school day and it would save his parents from sending him extra money. The boy stayed at his desk, unwilling to step out into the unfamiliar school grounds, which was contradictory in his part after having traveled a long way into a crowded city like Tokyo.

"Ah, Ryuugamine." The teacher adjusted his glasses after scanning down his list, "You will not be attending lunch?" His yellow shirt looked white in the sun streaming in through the windows.

Mikado answered, "Uhm, is it okay if I eat my lunch here?" He was prepared to leave if he asked him to.

The old man smiled, "Yes, yes, of course. Just please don't make a mess unless you want to be assigned cleaning duty for two weeks." He chuckled and waved Mikado off with some papers. He shuffled out the door and while Mikado saw him leave, he noticed a girl with glasses there. She was in between leaving as well and standing at the chalkboard.

He blinked and the girl blinked back. "Ano…" He didn't know what to say or how to start a conversation, but he did know, from the looks of it and how the girl had introduced herself, almost inaudibly, that she was shy. Maybe she was afraid to go out like he was?

"I-If you want, you could eat with me." A kind offering to her from his part; no strings attached.

She shuffled a bit, eyes casting down, fingers rubbing at the cloth which held her bento box together, and then feet moved. "Thank you."

"Wait," Mikado set his food down and moved stuff off his desk. If he had invited her then the least he could do was clean an area where she could eat.

"That's okay." He almost missed her words. "I can just eat on the desk behind you."

"But then we'd be facing away from each other."

"Don't worry. I'm used to it." She walked past him and he watched as she kept her glance down, opening her lunch. It certainly looked more colorful than his.

Still feeling awkward for facing his back at her, he tried to make conversation. "Are you looking forward to the new year, Sonohara-san?" The cliché words pained him.

The girl looked up from her lunch studying him while he sipped on a juice box between his hands. It made a loud slurping noise when he was done. She nodded and her black hair shook. "Yes. It should be interesting." A pause. "A-are you from Ikebukuro?"

Mikado blinked at her. "Well, no. Is it that noticeable?"

Anri felt like she had just insulted him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Ah, so this is where you were, Mi-ka-do~!"

Both heads of black swiveled to the door where a teen in a gray hoodie stood, smiling and coming towards them. "Heh. First day of school and you've already got yourself a girlfriend. You work fast, Mikado." Kida took a seat across from them both. "So, gonna introduce me to her? Maybe I can steal her away~"

Mikado looked in between him and Anri. "W-wait. It's not like that! She's not my-!"

Kida didn't seem like he was listening. Instead the boy leaned over and took a piece of rice ball from Mikado's lunch, popping it in his mouth. His eyes brightened, "Oh! This is really good. Did you make it yourself?" His cheeks were full and grains of rice were stuck on them.

Mikado couldn't answer. He kept thinking how Masaomi looked.

_Masaomi_.

If Anri hadn't interrupted, he wasn't sure if Kida had seen the flush creeping up on his face. The dreaded shade of red which gave way to all secrets.

The black haired girl stood, facing Masaomi. "I'm sorry from before. I didn't mean to run from you. I just had somewhere to go." She had her head bent, almost as if waiting for Kida to scream at her but he just laughed her off. "Haha, don't worry about it." He fanned the air, waving off her guilt, "I just assumed you were intimidated from my passion towards you and ran to get your feelings in check or break up with an old boyfriend so me and you could run away together! So! How 'bout it? Wanna be my girlfriend?" He had grabbed her hand in the process of speaking.

"What?!" Mikado practically jumped out of his seat. Such blunt confessions of love!

That extracted a chuckle from the blonde. "Ne, didn't I say I would steal her from you?" He winked at Mikado, coloring his face even redder.

Sonohara pulled her hand away, unfazed. She bowed. "I'm sorry, but I have to decline."

Kida smiled almost as if he anticipated her response. "Well, another time then. As consolation you can at least tell me your name." He took the last portion of Mikado's lunch and stood, smiling.

Mikado looked between the empty lunch box and Kida who was now taking a bite out of it. "That was my last-!"

"Sonohara Anri..." She said, almost a whisper, thinking the blonde was too distracted to hear. But he wasn't. He'd never miss a girl speak.

Kida waved Mikado off, speaking with his mouth full. "I'll be sure to treat you back. Thanks for the meal! Later, Mikado! Anri!"

_Did he just come here to steal my lunch?_ thought Mikado. If that was true, then he'd have to make extra portions so he wouldn't starve during school. He looked deep in thought, wondering if he should do that. He barely knew him, but he seemed like the type who which would hang around constantly. Mikado didn't know if that last part was a bad thing…

_No_! He mustn't think that way. If he did, then there was a possibility that—

"Ryuugamine-kun…" came the almost inaudible voice of Anri Sonohara. She was staring at the blank contents of Mikado's lunch with a few measly grains of rice sprinkled at the bottom like a taunt. With a glance at Mikado, her glasses glaring half her eye out, she spoke, "If you want, I-I could share some of mine with you."

Her amicable nature at that moment made Mikado smile sheepishly at her. He liked her already but he had to graciously decline her offer, knowing at the moment what it felt to have food he cooked leave him. "Thank you Sonohara-san, but then that would mean you would have to go without lunch." He rubbed the back of his neck, noticing her disappointed gaze at the desk. What she asked must have taken a lot of courage and to dash her offering so easily made a pool of guilt settle in the back of Mikado's mind. "Ah, but—" She gazed up when he spoke but he had spoken out of the uncomfortable situation he made and now found himself without way to take back his words. He looked out the window unable to stare her in the eye.

As if perceiving his thoughts, she lightly smiled. "It's okay. Really."

Mikado, grateful at her for stopping him from further making the situation worse turned back. The bell rang at that moment signaling the end of the lunch break. "I'll help you clean up," Mikado offered, but when he finished her words, Anri had already finished picking up after herself. "Thank you again." She said. With the students trailing lines in the hallways and sound levels approaching the classroom, she left to her desk, three away from Mikado and to the row next to his and sat down, bowing her head.

With the first student coming in through the door, Mikado cleaned his desk space as well. He noticed a head of blonde hair walking in a group passing by but when he looked up, it was gone.

He frowned at the way his heart skipped just a teeny-tiny bit when thinking of the boy he'd just met.

* * *

It was finally after school. The students bowed to their teachers and Mikado swung his backpack around his shoulder. It was heavier than when he came in. He looked around noticing the others in his class group together with their companions, no doubt taking a leisurely stroll around the town and enjoying themselves before heading home and attempting the large amount of homework he couldn't believe a teacher would give out on the first day. It wasn't as if he was afraid of walking home alone; he'd done it many times back home. What he was afraid of was walking home in an unfamiliar town, a large city, different in customs than the country. He gripped his backpack strap aware of the thinning persons in the class.

The thought of asking Anri to walk home with him seemed to forward and he didn't want to discomfort her. He briefly thought of just asking, the idea of being rejected in his offer sitting complacently in his mind. After all, it was just a walk home and she was a girl…who didn't know of his attraction to boys. The idea however quickly died in his mind. Anri was at the front of the room packing her things and eyeing a couple at the front of the room: a boy with a very severe facial expression and a girl with a very happy one. She was latched on to his arm admiring his face with wide bubbly eyes. The boy however seemed… seemed, distant. Mikado concluded that these were her friends and his heart dropped a little that most of the people here had probably been acquainted with each other before during their middle school years and he was probably the only one here who didn't know anybody.

With a dejected emotion stirring inside him, he walked out of class, down the steps and out into the oppressing open gates of Raira Academy.

He stood there for a few moments, watching the many cars of the city zoom by, some loudly and some silently in the rare occasion that traffic disappeared and only one drove by. His bag felt heavy on his right shoulder and while he waited for the light to cross blink green, he stared at his new, polished brown shoes.

Mikado suddenly felt a little homesick remembering how he'd used to shop, most of the times with his mother back home, her gentle hands always fussing over him and making sure the collar was straight or his hair brushed. She would always make sure the laces were clean and his shoes shiny, the whites on his shirt bright and the school jacket ironed to a crisp. Then he remembered the first time he went out shopping alone…  
It had been a terrible mistake which he didn't want to think about but being here, in this large city, full of people he didn't know, Mikado couldn't help but parallel the situation.

The light flashed green, and when his right foot was centimeters from making contact with the pavement, a familiar voice sounded behind him, "Mi-ka-do~!" An arm was swung over him, curling around his shoulder and it warmed him with shame for liking it. He knew who it was just from the way his name was pronounced.

A chuckle next to his ear dispelled his blank thoughts, "The light turned red again."

Moving his eyes from the ground, the raven haired boy realized it too and the cars which had been idly sitting at the light began to move across his way impeding any movement further.

He was quickly yanked back and he almost fell over himself. "Hey!" Was the only sound from his mouth and then he followed the finger pointing at the cars zooming by. About four had already rolled over the street he had almost placed his foot on. He understood what Kida had just done and bowed, forehead almost to the ground. "Thank you! For saving me!" His eyes were closed but reopened from an intelligible sound hitting his ears.

It was Kida trying to stifle his laughter. "You always thank people this much?" His eyes sparkled as he spoke and Mikado found it hard to find the right words.

Like many a time he failed, making his new companion chuckle more. The raven found the weight, which was quickly (too quickly) becoming used to, on his shoulders straightening him and guiding him towards the traffic. The light was still red. "Wait, Kida-kun! The light's still—" Before he could state the color of the light, it turned green and Mikado saw Masaomi sending a coy smile in his direction. "Hey, I just saved your life. You think I'm about to kill you, myself included?"

The smile made warmth creep up his cheeks and look away. "Thanks…" He said, trying his hardest to concentrate on the other side of the road. Even with his attention directed at the window of the shop across from them, he felt something at the side o his face burn. Checking from his peripheral, Mikado saw just how close he was to the other, discreetly beginning to pull away without coming off as rude.

He didn't know if Kida sensed his pulling away but was thankful when the blonde reached up to the skies and stretched, arms then falling limply to his sides, bouncing off his legs, resting there a few seconds and then coming up to the pockets of his gray pullover hoodie.

The walk was quiet, neither saying anything. Mikado didn't know what to think of the situation. It was nice, a warm feeling over him knowing there was someone there next to him, knowing he existed, but his existence was a farce. Kida probably saw him as just a student who went to his school, someone he met on the first day and became accustomed to but Mikado knew this was a lie. He wasn't just a student who read about Raira and marveled at the prestige of the school (it wasn't even that). Raira was an escape for him from his past, from the scrutinizing stares of his classmates back home, from the shameful feeling he felt every time he'd develop a crush on someone of the same gender. With Kida here next to him, the shame he'd tried to keep at bay, hidden rising like a looming shadow over him. He couldn't stay but…he didn't want to be alone either. He had always been able to make sure feelings over boys never came out into the open, never in his life. He'd marry a woman, have children and make his parents proud.

The expectation that that would be easy came crashing down however and he'd made the decision to run from his hometown, mom and dad surprised that their son would want to move away to Ikebukuro but nonetheless complied. They had been sad to see him go and him too, to leave home because of…because of—

"This is it for me…" Mikado said, stopping at a busy intersection, backing away from Kida and forcing a smile. He lifted his hand to wave him off but instead caught himself tumbling forward. "Whaaat? You can't be serious! It's barely three!" Kida exclaimed holding his arm down and tugging him behind him. "I haven't even paid you back!"

Huh? Mikado didn't remember loaning him money. He looked back at the street he remembered to use to go back to his apartment, now getting farther and farther away, throngs of people blocking it. The hand around his wrist tightened and he looked at where they connected. He tugged at it, trying to escape the male's grasp but his attempt was weak.

Even so, Kida stopped at a corner, catching his breath, smiling.

Behind him came a black man dressed as a chef who left Mikado with a petrified face when he came closer and closer and—

"Long time no see. Are you buying sushi? It's cheap. It's good." Came his throaty voice and Kida smiled wider, eyes lingering on Mikado's expression before he turned around and greeted the man. "Simon! Nice to see you too!"

The chef dressed man smiled warmly at him, "Are you buying sushi? It's good." He handed a flier to Kida who took it graciously. "Yep. I brought someone today. He's new here…right?" Brown eyes caught Mikado and he nodded, uncomfortable under Simon's now serious gaze…until the man smiled and led them both to Russia Sushi. "Ah, welcome, welcome. Try the salmon roe. It's good."

When they reached a table, Kida spoke. "Thanks Simon, I'll take it from here." Simon eyed both boys and smiled before shuffling off back to the streets to try and attract more customers.

The blonde turned to Mikado who was looking around the establishment with curious eyes. His mouth was a bit open.

"So, what do you want?"

The raven's head snapped over to Kida who was standing next to the table waiting for him. He had no idea what to order especially this being his first time to a restaurant in over three years. He scratched the side of his cheek looking around for clues on what to order at this 'Russia Sushi', the food served here beyond him, not wanting to make a fool out of himself for not knowing what the menu offered.

"W-what do they serve here. I'm not familiar with…Russian food." Mikado admitted, avoiding the other's gaze.

To his further embarrassment, Kida laughed. _Laughed. _He shouldn't have been too surprised though.

"It's not Russian food. It's all sushi. The restaurant just happens to be owned by Russians, hence the name."

When Mikado looked over to him, Kida was smiling. Was he always smiling? It seemed that way. "Oh…" He said, feeling a little dumb. "Then, how about salmon roe?"

Masaomi's face went slightly pale and there was a twitchy smile which he hid quickly. Either way, Mikado saw it, confused as to why he was making such a face. Simon had suggested it so he just assumed that was what he should get. "Great. I-I'll be back."

When he left, Mikado took the liberty of kneeling down at the small table and setting his bag down next to him. He felt uncomfortable, but not because of the floor (it was furnished with a thin soft blue mat), instead his discomfort was due to the smiling blonde now traveling his way with a wooden block in his hands, requested salmon roe resting on top. Behind him, the chef, not Simon, but another of fair skin, kept slicing fish with a relaxed face while he continued his work.

The sound of wood tapping against wood made Mikado bring his attention to the food in front of him. He looked uncertainly at Masaomi who was now kneeling across. Blue eyes lowered gazing at the only food, and wondering where the other serving which would belong to Kida was.

"Umm…aren't you going to eat too?" Mikado would not bring his arms up from his lap. He would not touch the chopsticks.

Kida, who had fished out his phone, looked at the salmon roe then at Mikado. "No, I had my fill thanks to you." He smirked at his own statement.

"But it wouldn't really feel right if I'm the only one—"

Kida leaned back on his haunches, chest vibrating silently and a smile etched on his lips. He slipped the phone back into his pocket. "Haaaa, you really are from the country aren't you?"

Mikado blanched at the words, "H-how did you know?"

"Mmm, it's kind of obvious how you go around apologizing and thanking people. Not many do that here."

"…Yeah, I noticed that…" Mikado commented, bringing his arm to grab at the chopsticks which were still connected together. He pulled them apart.

There was a moment of silence in which he couldn't make himself eat while under the watchful gaze of his …acquaintance. The chopsticks lingered loosely in his hand and he inched them closer to the little red spheres. He moved them around a bit, poking at them with the tips of the wooden sticks until taking one into his mouth as a test.

_Terrible._

Still, Kida-kun had paid for it. An eyebrow twitched and Mikado forced the corners of his mouth to tilt upward. "I-it's good." He lied, taking another portion into his mouth and swallowing it whole to reduce the amount of time it stayed on his toungue.

"Haha~ That's a relief. Stuff was expensive you know…" The last sentence was muttered lowly under his breath but Mikado was too busy fighting his taste sense to hear him correctly. It was a one sided battle, the way too salty taste of the salmon roe overpowering his thoughts. _It's just one more bite_, he kept telling himself, _just one more…_

"Why'd you come to Ikebukuro?" Came Masaomi's abrupt question, honey colored eyes on him.

Mikado swallowed hard, shivering just a little with that last bite. He gladly stopped scooping the sushi into his mouth but the question was one he'd not rather answer.

"I guess you could say I got bored of the country." The chopsticks began poking the red-orange spheres again.

"Hmm, then Ikebukuro sounded exciting?" Masaomi had taken out his phone again, furrowing his brows but the slightest.

At this point, Mikado set his chopsticks down, hands at his lap clutching at the fabric of his pants. "I just read a lot about it in mangas," he gauged Kida's reaction and found he didn't burst out laughing like before and just twitched the corners of his lips, "and heard a lot of good things about Raira…"

"In the country?" Kida asked, bemused.

"No, on the net." His mouth felt a little dry and the taste of salmon roe stuck to the back of his tongue.

"Hey, what part are you even from?" Click, click came from the keys being stroked with a thumb.

"Well it's a small town. Saitama…" He looked down.

"Yeah? Must be nice." At this point, Kida had set his phone down. The screen flashed, Mikado noticed, even when it was face down.

"Not really… Because there are so few people, everyone knows everybody." His voice became quiet at this point.

"Isn't that a good thing? Because everyone knows each other, they can help each other out, right?" Kida blinked, eyes quickly scanning over Mikado's face. He'd definitely said something wrong for him to look like that. "There something else?" He asked, scratching at the underside of the underside of the table with his nail.

Dennis was busy chopping something, and Simon had miraculously pulled in a few customers, Masaomi noticed when the door's bell chimed.

The silence was broken when the blonde's phone began vibrating loudly and the tune of his ringtone began. Mikado jumped, slouching down again when he noticed what the noise was, looking at Kida-kun. He answered. "Oh, moshi moshi." His smile never faded and neither did his chipper demeanor. He kept nodding and making sounds of agreement once in a while checking at the clock on the wall. "Great. Just wait for me before doing anything else. Later."

He hung up and Mikado studied him from under his gaze.

The boy across from him stretched, a smile tugging at his lips. "Waaah!" He yawned, "It's been nice meeting you Mi-ka-do~!" He held out his hand, to which the raven looked at warily, but slowly their hands met.

Without warning though, the blonde across pulled Mikado roughly forward, the shy boy having to catch himself on the table. "Wha-! Kida-kun!"

"Just between you and me," Masaomi whispered, shifty eyes darting from side to side to see if no one was listening in. This made Mikado nervous as he too looked around but for different reasons. A fist clenched on the table wanting to pull away but what Kida said next made him wonder why he'd taken him seriously.

"If you ever need someone, just call me and we can go pick up chicks!" He giggled like if he'd said the most wonderful thing in the world, patting Mikado roughly on his back.

That was kind of lame, Mikado thought, putting on his most 'that-wasn't-remotely-funny' smile and picked himself off the table. He fixed his tie which at this point was crinkled to the side.

"Anyway. I'm going to have to leave you now Mikado. I'm a busy man after all!"

"Somehow I doubt that…" muttered Mikado.

"Don't be so cruel! I know you hate that I have to leave you know but we'll see each other at school." He winked and Mikado almost cursed at himself for looking away too fast.

Masaomi just stood up, swiping his phone off the table and pocketing it. A question soon followed, "Hey do you have a phone?"

"No, not yet…" The raven answered, hoisting his school bag across his shoulder and getting on his feet.

"Hmm, that's a shame. House phone?" They both walked away from their table. Dennis who noticed they were leaving waved in their general direction and Kida waved back.

"I just moved in." Mikado said after thanking the light skinned man with a courteous bow.

Kida released an agitated sigh.

"Eh? What happened?" They were outside now and the sky had begun to turn orange in the distance.

"Nothing. Just that it's going to be hard keeping in touch with you."

"O-oh." That overused mumble was all Mikado could say to such a statement.

The streets were still busy, if not busier than when the Raira Academy students were released from school. The city lights were beginning to illuminate the streets with their artificial light. A plane flew over a skyscraper Mikado was admiring and its reflection was warped and wavy. He'd never seen such a thing before back home, where all the airplanes looked tiny in comparison to the ones practically swimming one after the other at such close range. The sound was loud but he found it was tolerable just like all other sounds of Ikeubukuro.

The black haired boy found the light steps of his companion in tune with his, occasional taking a peek at Masaomi next to him.

He was attractive, he would admit to himself, but never to the other. The feeling gnawing at the bottom of his stomach was one he would rather shove down with logic, logic that sounded something akin to this: "You only like him because he was the first person to speak to you. There's nothing else drawing you to him except for filling the void of loneliness of being in a new town. As soon as you make other friends, you probably won't like him much…"

But whenever he saw him and Masaomi made eye contact and smiled, the feeling stirred again making his heart beat faster, and Mikado knew his logic was only a feeble attempt at covering of the truth.

"This is my stop then!" He said a little too loud, practically running the 5 feet that now separated him and Masaomi before he stopped.

Kida was stunned, Mikado could see, at his abrupt behavior. The blonde noticed this was an entirely different area from the one Mikado said was his stop earlier. Brown eyes analyzed the raven, taking in his shifty gaze and fidgety fingers on his school bag strap.

He said nothing, however, and did not even voice the suggestion that he should accompany him home. He was a newbie for the streets after all.

"Sure. See you at school?" He asked, not trying to prod.

Mikado nodded, stiffly turning to face the other way and walk.

Kida saw him off until a throng of crowds blocked his view. He began to walk to his own destination.

* * *

Darkness had arrived by the time Masaomi entered the warehouse. Already a crowd was gathered there, scarves of yellow attached to their necks. Some had weapons in their hands.

"Shogun is here!" Someone shouted and soon the entire vicinity echoed with yells of 'Shogun! He's here!' to which Kida sighed. He'd told them to not call him that.

As he approached the front, he took notice of how at least 6 or 7 people surrounded something. His footsteps echoed when the cries died down and the people noticed his approach. "Sh-shogun!" They shouted, pushing the ones next to them to move aside.

It was then that Masaomi saw what they were surrounding a person. An injured person.

He was quivering and his breathing was loud and labored. Remnants of the color yellow, the color of the Yellow Scarves were barely visible in the shower of red. Some of his clothing had dry areas of blood while the other looked fresh from still seeping wounds.

Kida kneeled next to him, "What happened?"

The gang member swallowed thickly before sputtering blood, which only ran down his cheek and chin. His eyes were hazy and he was staring at the ceiling, trying to locate his Shogun to answer. When his eyes saw that it was indeed his boss addressing him, he answered in a gravelly voice, "Me and Ho-Hotarou-san were at West gate…" He paused to breathe. "We didn't start anything, Shogun, swear. We didn't start anything. But when they came at us…w-we had to do something…There was pro-probably ten of them and they had weapons. We couldn't stop them. We should've just run away…They just came at us…the Blue Squares."

Kida could sense the wavering in his voice as he spoke. "Where's Hotarou?"

Someone answered for the injured teen. "We took 'im to the hospital, Shogun. He was worse than Hoshino…"

A wave of anger flashed in Kida's eyes, making the taller teen who answered him cower away. "Why didn't you take him to the hospital?"

"Uh, h-he didn't wanna be taken! He wanted ta come 'ere and tell ya everythin' 'imself!"

Kida faced away from him, releasing him from his fear. He looked down at Hoshino who was probably in agony at the moment. "Take him to the hospital." He ordered. His subordinates nodded, grabbing the injured teen by his shoulders and dragging him off.

The people in the warehouse saw him be taken away. Their eyes lingered for a long time on the trail of blood left behind and the large stain penetrated on the pavement before finally someone asked, "What does this mean Shogun?"

There was a large gap of silence which nothing could fill. Masaomi could answer that question in an infinite number of ways, all of which would be false. He knew the answer. He knew it.

But…they were just a bunch of kids, brats! trying to have a swell time hanging out. It wasn't supposed to come to this and why now of all times! Most of them were barely starting high school; some were still in middle school.

Seeing Hoshino, hearing about Hotarou… it was very evident that they weren't just kids loitering around West Gate, or at Russia Sushi, or giving the traffic cops a hard time. No, this was past that. They tried to stand at par with the gangs they wouldn't join, just in number. Something for themselves to share. Unfortunately, the others wouldn't just let them stand on the sidelines.

They'd been sucked in to the streets of destiny. Something akin to a cruel fate.

"Shogu—"

"It means…" His hands wavered at his sides, unable to look at his compatriots. "It means… that we've been dragged into a war."

It was deadly silent in that warehouse for the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm an impatient person. I hope Senpai hasn't seen this.**

**Title: Detriment  
Rating: T (may change)  
Pairing: Masaomi x Mikado, Kidamine/ MiKida  
Slight AU.**

**Summary: Isolation is a poison. Some times people search desperately in the dark for something to cling to. At times like these humans are most vulnerable to the lingering past that creeps up behind them to drag back to a personal Hell. Sometimes they fight back, and in that moment is when they are released from their past, their God.**

_1 year later_

"Ehhh? Two students were beat up? By who? How?"

"Well, from what I heard, they were upperclassmen and rumors were they were in a gang," the student whispered.

"No way!" A third boy spoke, excited. "That means Ikebukuro must be in a gang war right now! That's so cool! It'll be like in the movies!"

Blue eyes went astray. A hand came up to Mikado's chin. One year since his move to Ikebukuro, he'd known about the alleged gangs, even going as far as not leaving his home unless it was absolutely necessary. That extreme slowly disappeared and while traveling the winding streets, he'd sometimes hear rumors, but nothing as far as physical violence and he didn't have a television to get the latest. His only means of new information came from his chat logs and forums where locals were as clueless about the underground as him.

Maybe you have to be one of them to know, he once thought grimly.

"Hey, don't look so down Class Rep! Chances are we'll never see any of the fights or get caught in them. Those kinds of things only happen if you wear a certain color."

Mikado, listening to his classmate's reassurance, wasn't too sure about that anymore.

While thinking about all of this, the raven missed the ringing of the bell, only noticing it was time to go home when his classmates stood up and gathered their things. He mimicked them, dragging his body with each movement as his mind was elsewhere.

"Ah, Sonohara-san!" Mikado called out, waving when the black haired girl hear the call of her name. Her glasses reflected the light and she paused her movements waiting for her friend to catch up with her.

"Ryuugamine-kun…" She greeted. They were nearly out the academy's doors, other students brushing past them in their hurry.

"We don't have to stay today?" He inquired, catching his breath from the long run over. Someone bumped into him from behind and a quick half-hearted apology was issued before rushing off.

As the class representatives, Mikado and Anri had gained their polite friendship from the various times they would stay together after class. However, even after a year, they both still called each other by their last names, and couldn't crack a conversation for something more interesting than the weather. Nevertheless, it was something, and the two couldn't complain.

The girl shook her head as they walked, "Not until next week." Her skirt flitted with each step.

"Oh, I see." Mikado mumbled, feeling his school bag hit against his leg.

Step, step, step, step.  
The buildings were tall.  
Step, step, step.  
No clouds in the sky.

Silence.

Mikado looked over from the corner of his eye to Anri and she was looking back herself. When their eyes met, both were clearly startled at the intrusion to both their privacy, quickly averting each other's gaze.

"Um…" Began Mikado, and Anri waited.

This was their friendship in a nutshell.

Laughter from behind them and then a heavy load on their shoulders. Masaomi was leaning against them both, shoving himself in between them. "Man, you really are two peas in a pod! It's like you were made for each other!" The blond smiled, first checking out Anri who tried to pry herself away and then at Mikado, and only then did his eyes get shiftier. "Did I interrupt your alone time, Mi-ka-do~?"

Mikado could feel the heat rise to his cheeks, "It's not—nothing's going on!" He yelled, flustered, stretching his face as far away from Masaomi as possible.

His blond friend giggled, "Ah! It's the same thing with you! Ne, when are you going to confess to her?"

Anri, who had successfully begun her own pace away from the two didn't bat an eyelash. After all, this was a common thing between the three.

It was class leadership that began her friendship with Mikado and because Masaomi was always with him, the three developed a lopsided, queer relationship which Masaomi called a 'love triangle' between Mikado, him, and her. But Anri knew the truth. She may have been quiet but she was very observant. There was no love triangle here. The only thing was a love line connecting two of her friends.

Through her glasses, she witnessed the way they spoke, but more importantly, how Mikado went from polite country boy to flustered in a way only one person could make him. And that was Masaomi.

She smiled to herself as she observed the two.

"Come on Mikado. If you don't do it now then I'll have to make my move!"

"Get off—don't listen to him Sonohara-san! He doesn't mean any of these rude things!"

"Heh Are you jealous of the clear overflowing love between Anri-chan and me?"

"What love? You're just being lame as usual."

Masaomi laughed, slapping Mikado on his back almost sending the black haired boy over on his face. "Don't just say that casually. You're pretty lame yourself. Almost a year and you can't even make one confession!"

A cold feeling came over him. Suddenly, Mikado had a paranoid feeling that Masaomi wasn't talking about Anri and him. He feared looking at him, afraid that he'd find something in his gaze that gave away the truth. He opted for the glaring light off the hoods of passing cars.

A quiet voice spoke up, "Ah. I just remembered I have to do something."

Both boys looked her way. The girl was clearly lying if the way she was moving and avoiding their gaze when she spoke was an indication.

"Did you forget something at school, Sonohara-san? " Mikado, the only one oblivious to her lies asked.

"Um, yes. I mean no!" Her eyes shifted between the two but Masaomi soon had a sly smile coming up over his face. He rested his arm around Mikado's shoulders. "Just let her do her thing, Mikado."

"Huh? But what if she doesn't want to go alone? You know that the pervert teacher's always looking at her…" Mikado trailed off, looking at Anri.

The girl put her hands up in front of her, "Don't worry. It's nothing like that. I'm not going back to school. Just something else…"

"Oh. Alright then. Do you want us to walk you at least half-way?"

Masaomi groaned. "Aw, come on Mikado. It's not like she's going to see a third boyfriend or anything. It's me she loves after all."

_Third boyfriend?_ blinked Anri.

"What _are_ you talking about?" Mikado inquired, still unable to believe the level of his blond friend's delusions.

Anri had to smile. Now was her chance…or better yet, theirs. While the two fooled around, throwing nonsensical comments each other's way, she backed up into the crowd, quickly losing sight of them and no doubt they'd lose sight of her.

Xxx

"Hmm, can you believe she ditched us?" Masaomi asked, a little pensive about what happened. "A girl's never ditched me before."

Somehow that was hard to believe in Mikado's eyes. "That's hard to believe."

"I just didn't know…"

Mikado's heart skipped a beat. Wait. Didn't know what?

"I just didn't know Anri-chan was so in love with me!" Kida looked absolutely dejected with his made up love assumptions.

Mikado should've known better than to take this guy seriously.

"How can you even tell that she's in love with you?" The raven soon regretted even asking Kida about that. Over this past year, he learned that the blond regularly over exaggerated his love affairs, bragging about meeting ladies when in reality (Mikado knew for a fact as he was dragged to such excursions as the other's 'wingman'), it was just Masaomi hitting on women in their twenties during their lunch breaks, said ladies quite often ignoring him or laughing him off. The entire show was quite pathetic in Mikado's eyes.

Truly pathetic actually and he felt even more pathetic imagining Masaomi speaking to him using those lame pick up lines.

"It's easy to know when someone's in love with you." Began Masaomi nonchalantly.

"Eh, really?" Mikado gulped, heat beginning to swell in his throat.

"Yeah. I've had loads of girls lining up to be my girlfriend! Most of the time I can't choose so I just—"

_Here he goes again…,_ thought Mikado deflating at his friend's lack of seriousness. But soon his friend's loud chirpy voice got unusually quiet.

"They usually stutter when they speak, though."

"B-but Anri-chan rarely stutters. She doesn't actually talk much…" Masaomi stared at him before continuing.

"But it's true. Not to mention the fidgeting. Like playing with their bag strap. Or clumsiness. But that probably only happens in shoujo-mangas."

"Shoujo-mangas?" Mikado had to ask.

"Yumasaki-san and Karisawa-san read those a lot."

Mikado didn't have time to question who Yumasaki-san and Karisawa-san were before Masaomi began talking again. His eyes were right on Mikado and, embarrassed as he was, the boy didn't have the courage to look away from such brown eyes.

"Another way to know they're in love with you is that they also blush a lot, too…" Kida continued like if Mikado hadn't interrupted, "And try to avert gazes with you."

Heat, burning heat, rushed to Mikado's cheeks. His palms felt ten times sweatier than during a Japanese Summer. The swelling in his throat did not allow him to swallow or open his mouth for that matter. Could Kida be talking about him? He couldn't know, could he?!

"Just like you are right now…" His voice, Masaomi's voice, was barely above a whisper.

Had he heard correctly or just imagined that?

Mikado couldn't tell. He ripped his gaze from the concrete sidewalk wanting to confirm something when instead of Masaomi's face greeting him, it was Sebastian Michaelis.

"Speak of the Devil," he heard Kida's voice on the other side, looking behind Sebastian to see a duo of people making sudden conversation with him. His heart was still dangerously fast and bumped continuously on his ribcage. Was he thankful for the interruption? Mikado couldn't decide. He stood there thinking about it, listening to the sounds of traffic and admiring the artwork that was the butler.

"Eh? No. He's a demon." A blond with slits for eyes corrected.

"Not just any demon, Yumacchi. A demon butler!" Corrected a girl in a gray coat further.

"One hell of a butler!" They both exclaimed.

"Anyway. What is Kida-kun doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" Erika, the girl in gray, pointed at the school emblem on his jacket with a book.

"Hmm, maybe he's actually a vigilante in disguise. Who would suspect a high-schooler right? But why during the daytime, though." Yumasaki muttered that last part to himself.

"Hoh! Is Yumacchi getting another idea for a fail novel?" Erika clasped her hands together, letting go of her side of Sebastian.

"No! S-stop bringing that up!"

Kida stared at them with a strange expression. The duo of otakus always felt like they were in a different world than he, the 2-D world specifically and he didn't know much about it to follow their conversation avidly.

Mikado was still unsure whether he should leave Masaomi with his friends in case he was interrupting some long time reunion and at the same time, didn't want to get so close to his blond friend after such comments. Granted, he could have just imagined the last bit and been paranoid thinking Masaomi was really talking about him.

"Oh! This is my friend, Ryuugamine Mikado. He goes to school with me."

Four pairs of eyes were on him in an instant and Mikado felt trapped under their gaze.

"Pen name?" Yumasaki wondered.

"Eh? Pen name? He's still in high school though…"

"Still…pretty eccentric for a high school kid."

"Hmm, maybe he's in a doujinshi circle of some sort."

"It-It's my real name…" One year later and it was the adults making a big deal out if his name.

He felt a tickle behind his ear, thinking it was the Sebastian cardboard stand, he thought nothing of it…until it spoke.

"Just ignore them. You can't really tell what they're talking about half the time." Masaomi whispered.

The only indication that Mikado heard him was a stiff nod. It was difficult to suppress the shiver through his body at such close proximity to Masaomi. He was too much aware of the other's presence, feeling the body heat and the jacket sleeve pressing against his own. He gulped.

He shifted away, pretending to be distracted by a pebble. It was round and had a purplish hue to it. A very nice pebble. It made scratchy sounds against the pavement if he stepped on it a certain way. He could feel it against the bottom of his shoe. Speaking of his shoes, they were scuffed.

"Hey. Come on." Mikado felt a shove on his shoulder. It was Masaomi. Despite the small smile on his face, he was missing the jokester personality that usually accompanied him.

The raven cleared his throat. "What about Karisawa-san and Yumasaki-san?" His blue eyes scanned the vicinity but he couldn't find them.

"They left a while ago."

"EH?" Had he been accidentally ignoring them?

"Yeah. You were pretty distracted." The blond began walking and Mikado hesitated to follow him. It would be rude not to.

"Sorry."

Masaomi didn't respond to the apology.

The two boys continued and the heat of summer did not diminish in the least while walking. If anything, it seemed to grow hotter with aid of the exhaust fumes cars coughed out. The clouds had been dispersed during morning but as the hours passed by, the white puffs turned into grey ones, condensing above their heads. The humidity they brought was impossible, magnifying the day's temperatures even further. Occasionally a small breeze blew through, cooling the city. But soon it would pass and not a trace of its path was left except for the movement of flags and banners.

Sounds continued and they were quiet. Mikado didn't really know what to think. Masaomi would always be the one conversing, even if it was one sided and Mikado would smile, happy to hear his enthusiasm.

Now, he analyzed the other's noiseless, serene face. It was like he was deep in thought, eye not really focusing on what was ahead of him.

And he called Mikado distracted.

"Kida-kun." Mikado stopped walking.

No answer. Masaomi kept walking ahead.

"Kida-kun!"

"Hm?"

"We're here."

The blond looked up to see the shadowy building where Mikado lived. He beamed rubbing a hand over his bangs, "Haha, sorry. I almost missed the place."

Mikado's hand clenched around his bag strap. Something was wrong with Masaomi and he wasn't sure if it was about what was being said earlier that day, what they had been conversing about, or if it was about what he _thought_ the other said.

Cold. The feeling on his nose roused him from his stress.

"Ah." Something cold fell on his noseagain and his hand came up to swipe it away. It was water.

Cold again. Mikado faced the sky, the torrential rain imminent and hovering over their heads. "It's raining…"

When the words left his mouth, the clouds spilled their contents over the city. Instantly, the dry, white looking streets were darkened with the intake of moisture. Cars had a small halo around them; the water splashed off their hoods. Streets became black with the mixture of water and asphalt. People rushed for shelter holding whatever it was in their hands above them to shield off the onslaught of water droplets. The city of Ikebukuro looked much darker.

He and Masaomi were safe for the most part under the dingy narrow roof which extended to protect them but the flow over the roof of the apartment still wet their shoes.

Kida sighed, "Man and it was a really warm afternoon. But the girls do love that poetic type of guy walking in the rain!" He stepped out into the shower and smiled and waved. "Later Mi-ka-d—"

"Kida-kun!"

The blond blinked not expecting Mikado's call, arm still in the air. The shoulders of his uniform had grown a dark blue and he'd pulled the gray hood of his pullover over his head but not before the rain managed to dye his hair a darker shade of yellow.

"I-if you want you could stay here until the rain dies out …" Blue eyes trailed off.

Silence. The sky whispered a long "_shhhh!_" in anticipation of Masaomi's answer. It was only them two standing there at the moment.

After the strained pause, Masaomi finally chuckled bringing his hands over his head. "Look at you being so forward Mikado. Weeeell if you _insist_…"

"No it's not that! You don't h-have to if you don't want to!" The last thing Mikado wanted to do was give the wrong impression. This was just because he didn't want Masaomi to walk in the heavy rain. He didn't want him to get sick. This was because they were friends. Just that.

The blond walked the short distance between them, lightly hitting his knuckles against the other's shoulder. "Just messing with you. Come on; let's go before you get wet too."

Mikado stared uncertainly from under his lowered gaze at him. "Y-yeah…"

He walked ahead climbing to the second story of his dingy apartment complex, inserting the key and turning it. The rain was a white noise behind them. Both boys entered, taking off their shoes at the entrance leaving them in a clear puddle.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Mikado offered. He forgot, though, that there was barely anything in his fridge. He hadn't gone shopping recently.

"Hoh? Is this your place Mikado?" Kida completely disregarded his question taking the liberty of strolling around the plain and simple room which housed only a futon on the floor and a computer in the corner. He sat himself down and tapped the mouse which lit up the monitor.

Mikado, who had been browsing his fridge worriedly (because of the lack of content), and oblivious to Masaomi's actions, turned to answer his friend. Upon seeing him waking his computer the boy panicked. "Kida-kun wait!" He left the refrigerator door open and ran over to his computer before Kida would see anything, tripping over his own two feet (not that the slippery floor with combination of his cotton socks helped), and pushed the screen away from view.

It seemed to happen in the kind of slow motion that makes the world run fast. Silence rang in his ears as he scrambled to turn the monitor away. Mikado barely felt the impact of his elbows on the wooden floor or his knee digging into a softer place. His hands worked clumsily almost tipping the entire screen over but caught it before anything worse could happen.

Now they both lay in a single heap on the floor, Mikado breathing shallowly from the short distance he ran and panic of another user on his computer. Masaomi was in the process of sitting up holding his head.

The black monitor was facing away, and the raven felt relieved until he felt something solid shift underneath his chest. He gasped staring at the familiar cloth bend over Masaomi's knee and he forced himself to look back, meeting eyes with an amused Masaomi. His breath caught in realization of his current position which was on _top_ of Masaomi. Almost choking, the boy cried in embarrassment struggling to push himself off his classmate but anywhere he touched was the warmth of flesh through cloth, "So-sorry!" It was a repetition of apologies and apologies and each stated while an increasing amount of heat burned his cheeks and an increasing amount of pitch raised his voice.

He went to grab the floor's surface to prop himself up, but when another part of Kida's body met his hand instead, Mikado, startled, raised his hand away and fell down on him again. This followed the same pattern as his apologies.

Knee. Leg. Thigh.

All warm he came to note.  
And then he'd fall.

It came to the point when instead of Mikado moving aside, Masaomi slid out from underneath him. He scooted away bringing a leg up and hiding his face with his knee.

Mikado stayed frozen in his place, slowly pushing off the floor. He warily glanced in Kida's direction noting the behavior of the other.

His lips stayed glued and he couldn't even say his name. Thinking about it just made his face heat and palms sweat. What was Kida-kun doing?

"Mmf." A muffle from his direction.

"…" Silence from Mikado's. "…K-Kida-kun?"

His blond head bobbed up and down and then his shoulders shook. He couldn't hold it in anymore and he laughed. A loud boisterous laugh, one Mikado hadn't seen until now. He'd seen him giggle, chuckle; the kind of laughter when Masaomi would tease Mikado but this was on another level.

It was dark in the little room, the rain still pouring down and the sun long concealed by the clouds. But he could still see the shiny dots in the corner of Masaomi's eyes. His stomach clenched in bouts and his shoulders kept a steady rhythm in tune with his laughing voice. Mikado was in awe seeing his friend with such a raw feeling.

Until he remembered what he was laughing about.

If steam could rise from Mikado's overheated face like in cartoons, it would have. In its stead were mumbles of "Not funny," "I didn't meant to," "Sorry!" and a long whine of "Kida-kuun!"

The last one was everything needed to shut the blond up.

Mikado was left with his pinked face on his haunches, glaring at Masaomi from underneath his black bangs. His breathing sounded quite loud in the room. He wanted to say something but it was a given that it had been an accident, right? It was a given that he didn't mean it to happen, right? Even so, there was something underneath the accident that he wanted to address. Every second he didn't say anything that 'something' clawed its way up from the earth dislodging the smooth surface, mangling it, disrupting it.

Mikado opened his mouth forcing the lump of words.

It wasn't his voice that spoke though. When Masaomi had stopped his laughter, he stared at Mikado with a much more serious face than he was used to. One akin to the one he'd seen earlier on the walk home from school.

His brown eyes were stern and his face impassive like he was trying to look _through _Mikado.

"Mikado…" he said, pursing his lips afterwards like stopping himself from further words.

Mikado couldn't stand to see him. To see him analyzing him so. He wanted him to… to—

The black haired boy held on to his arm, staring onto the plain ground. A floor he was too used to staring at during his nights of sleep. The rain had quieted, no longer drumming of thunder. Only the lightning flashed far away.

Slowly he stood and turned around.

"Mikado you like me right?"

There are some things which aren't fixable. From an environmentalist point of view, it's the Earth. A carbon footprint so large nothing can hide it. From a political activist, it may be the form in which the government is run. The same goes with relationships. If a friend hurts their friend enough, there comes a time when people say 'No more,' and leave. Maybe it can be forgotten but the scar, the pain; it's always there. And it serves as a reminder not to make the same mistake again. To make sure not to fall for false beliefs. It strips away the naivety that not everyone in the world will want to help one another.

In this moment, Mikado's beliefs that his friend would never find about his feelings was shattered with his sharp intake of air. His heart was still pumping blood through his veins and he could feel every single surge of blood through his limbs.

Through his arms.

Through his head.

They were shaking now.

He heard something, _someone_ shuffle behind him. He felt footsteps coming up behind him and stop.

He didn't want to turn around. He didn't want to face him.

"Mikado." It was almost above a whisper.

"I get it, okay?" He began with a tremble in his voice. "I get it. We're just friends. You don't like guys. I get it."

When Masaomi didn't say anything, Mikado continued. "It's alright, though Kida-kun. I knew you didn't like me like that. It's why I never said anything. But even then, I stayed friends with you because—" His fists clenched. "I—"

"Just…just turn around okay?"

His blue eyes which had been clenched shut immediately opened. Mikado had expected Masaomi to walk out on him, shun him but apparently that was not the case. Still, even at a request, he couldn't commit the simple action of turning on his heel. It isn't that he wouldn't it was that he _couldn't_.

He should have known better than to think something as horrible as that of his friend. He should have. But the lingering feelings of a younger time haunted him.

Masaomi didn't push him into facing him. He let Mikado do it of his own accord, staring at the heels of his white socks until their movement let him know of Mikado's decision to do so. He brought his eyes up to the back of his head, seeing how the black hair gave way to Mikado's face.

There were pink rings under his eyes like he'd been holding back tears. His bottom lip trembled and his eyebrows were marred. Black hair framed his boyish face and Masaomi wanted to _touch_ it.

How long had he known he liked him? Masaomi asked himself.

Since they met? Since they started spending more time together? Since just a few hours ago when Anri left?

Masaomi had _known. _He'd known all along but chose to ignore it. Pretended that maybe Mikado would forget about him. But he'd allowed them to become friends. He allowed it to happen; for feelings to hatch inside Mikado and himself.

_Heh. What a stupid decision._

Now he dragged Mikado into all his shit. And he was still doing it now.

He watched blue eyes widen and saw them come closer and closer as he leaned in until those black lashes were the closest he'd ever seen them.

He could feel the warm air between their faces come out in irregular puffs like Mikado was holding his breath.

He opened his mouth to say something, something sweet maybe to woo the deer caught in the headlights but his pickup lines were gone. All those years of practice and he couldn't put it to use.

But he didn't need lame words to let Mikado know how he felt. To let Mikado know that he too had been holding back trying to hide something. He just needed to let him _know_.

And that was what he did as he dipped his head if only centimeters further. He was so nervous. So many feelings, emotions, piled in one simple action of a kiss.

Through the warmth that electrified the touch of their lips and the tentative tongue, he tried to tell Mikado that he didn't need to hide with him.

The hot breaths exchanged to tell Mikado that he liked him just as he did.

The tugs and bites on his lower lip to assure Mikado that he wasn't alone. Masaomi wanted it too.

He pulled back, seeing the smaller boy hazily open his eyes. His mouth was hung open and Kida couldn't help but smile at his never ending cute actions.

Silently, they stared into each other. The rain had passed leaving a silent trail.

It was Mikado who broke the silence first. He did have the most pressing questions after all. "But I thought Kida-kun liked girls."

"Heh. Yeah, I am a killer with the ladies but that doesn't mean I can't like _you_."

Mikado didn't seem too convinced, bringing his head down to a low bow.

Had he said something wrong? "Mikado?"

"It's just that…"

Masaomi caught on. Of course he caught on. He would have the same questions too.

But right now wasn't the time to let Mikado into his secret affairs. Not yet. He wasn't too sure if would even allow him so close to the crossfire and being with him was just a giant bull's eye on his head.

He walked closer to him, catching the black haired teen off guard by embracing him. "Let's just talk about this tomorrow."

There was a uneasy feeling about all of this underneath the surface.

* * *

**a/n: So thank you to everybody who left reviews! I didn't think I'd get many but then I saw them in my inbox and it got me really excited to see that there were people who liked this story. …I always forget what I want to say in author's notes. u._.**

**Ah, maybe happy 4****th**** of july? Happy belated Canada Day? There's a supermoon on the 22****nd****…**


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